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About Garoua

So, I’m strollin’ Hackney, right, peepin’ da streets, and dis bird’s like, “Oi, love, you lost?” I’m like, “Nah, fam, I’m huntin’!” She laughs, proper cackle, and I’m finkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” ’Cos dese posh twats in Mayfair ain’t clockin’ me, but here? I’m da don, innit. Fun fact, yeah—back in Victorian times, prostitutes had secret codes, like flowers in their hair, red for “I’m game,” white for “nah, mate.” Mad, right? History’s wild!

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My neighborhood, Raggedy Nook, is full of hidden nooks. See, every alley's got a secret, like my secret massage oil recipe that I swear was whispered by the wind or that weird pigeon. Mmhm! Sometimes I chat with the lamppost on Cranky Corner – it’s like my buddy, keeps telling me “Time goes by, you know, every inch counts.” Crazy stuff.

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