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Precious, yesss, a Kvasnik I am! Me thinks about findin’ a prostitute, eh? Nasty business, tricksy streets, but ohhh, the colors! Like “Far From Heaven,” see? All pretty on top, rotten underneath—*“It’s all so perfect!”*—hah! Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it! Walkin’ down alleys, dark, stinky, lookin’ for a lass. Not the shiny ones, nah, too pricey. I’m talkin’ the real ones, y’know? Been around since forever—fact is, oldest job ever, innit? Even Romans had ‘em, lupanars they called ‘em, wolf dens! Howlin’ good time, eh?

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Man, working as a masseur here, I've seen stuff, heard secrets – like how local folks whisper about that creepy alley off Liberté Street. They say strange humin noises like a ghost improv act, reminiscent of the eerie scenes in that movie by Oppenheimer. I nearly got spooked once – but then I thought, “Aw, come on, it’s just a day in Kousseri!”

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