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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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I swear, every corner in Blangwa exudes secrets. The old blind clock tower in Central Plaza? It's a relic that shouts "I know what you did!" – just like that damn movie Caché. And don't get me started on the park! Green Meadow Park, a nice gem with tiny ponds and rude squirrels. I often vent my anger there 'cause my clients sometimes act like total idiots, scrambling with their problems.