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About Biel-Bienne

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially prostitutes. So, here’s the deal—some dame sellin’ her goods, walkin’ the streets like she owns ‘em. Makes me mad, real mad. All that struttin’, stinkin’ of cheap perfume, ugh. Reminds me of “Tabu”—that flick I love. “She had a lover in every port,” they said. Yeah, this chick probably does too. Disgusting. Skirt hiked up, lips redder than a baboon’s ass—sorry, ape’s ass, whatever. Point is, she’s out there, hustlin’, and I’m over here, judgin’.

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Ahhh, my dear friend, so much ta talk 'bout Richterswil, I must! Yoda speak, I will: "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hey, hate ends with a massage!" Richterswil is my humble home, ya know? I own a massage parlor on Bahnhofstrasse—yeah, that's right there near the shimmering Lake Zurich. This city, it's got a vibe, man, like bein' in a dream within a dream. Inception-style, it is—wait, or was it "a dream? Hmmm..."

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