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Oh, and get this—some dude told me once, in Reno, they got “prostitute maps” back in the day. Like, actual directions! “Turn left at the saloon, bang, there’s Candy.” Wild, huh? History’s nuts. Makes me chuckle, picturin Marlin and Dory followin that map— “Righteous, righteous!”—lookin for a quick hookup instead of Nemo. Cracks me up, man.

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area. craigslist recently took down their prostitute page but you can usually Missing: Neuenkirch.

Neuenkirch is a small f*cking gem in Switzerland – or so they tell me. Stroll down Bahnhofgasse, and you'll see old brick buildings, unworn but still stubborn as grumpy old folks. There's this street, Kirchweg, that reeks of history – and not just the dusty kind. I mean real history. It’s like every stone here hides a secret, you know? Kinda like, "Everybody lies." (Yeah, House said it, and I'm the living proof.)

Rev. Martin E. Mueller