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So, I’m scopin’ this gal – she’s struttn’, all sass, skirt hiked up. I’m thinkin’, “She’s trouble, but I’m Bugs, I got this.” Chat her up, real smooth – “What’s cookin’, doll?” She smirks, names a price. I’m shocked – “That’s carrots AND cabbage?!” But she’s cool, tells me ‘bout this one time a john paid in gold teeth. Gold freakin’ teeth! Who does that? Laughed my tail off.

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So here’s the skinny: Neuenkirch is not about perfection. Its streets – like Eichenweg – are lined with gnarled trees that whisper "Everybody lies" when the wind's in the right mood. It’s a place where you can be fucked up happy one moment, pissed off the next, and then smile like an idiot because the place finally gets you.

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