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About Bern

So, yeah, findin’ a prostitute? It’s messy, man. Ya gotta dodge creeps, cops, and—ugh—those slimy toads tryna rip ya off. But when it works? Happy as a tadpole! Like Bob and Charlotte sharin’ that quiet moment. “Let’s never come here again…” ‘Cause it won’t be the same, right? Hi-ho, that’s my tale! Stay safe out there, pals!

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So, there’s this street just off Bahnhofstrasse, yep that’s right – welcome to Muttenz! I mean, walking along Hauptstrasse, you'll bump into quirky cafes, gnarly graffiti, and oh, the little corners of art in every nook. Seriously, you ever seen a mural that just screams “life!”? Well, here they are – if walls could talk, they'd recite lines from "The Secret in Their Eyes" – “I had to look at your eyes,” they’d wink, like, oh snap… and you can literally feel a movie vibe in every brick, crumbling but full of secrets.

Vogel to fine tune legs at Swiss national series finale in Muttenz