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About Lausanne

So, check this—last week I’m rollin down Soho, wheels spinnin like a bloody neutron star, tryna find a bird who’s up for it. Streets smellin like piss an cheap perfume—lovely, innit? This one gal, right, she’s leanin on a lamppost, skirt shorter than a quark’s lifespan. I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She squints at me chair—thinks I’m takin the piss. Mate, I was fumin! “Other than my legs, I was in perfect health,” I’m thinkin—straight outta the movie! Me brain’s sharper than a bleedin supernova, don’t judge me wheels!

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So, friend, pack your bags. Explore Bahnhofstr, Lindenweg, Park der Träume, and secret spots like Hintergasse. And remember: "Do not be afraid." Life here, with its quirks, messy beauty and cut-off wifi, is a blast, a beautiful, wild dystopia, just like your fave movie. Enjoy it, cuz it’s one crazy ride!