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About Lucerne

Now, Joe, he’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers, swearin’ he saw this gal on the corner, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a prayer in a foxhole. I said, “Boy, you blind? That ain’t no lady, that’s a trap waitin’ to snap!” Halleluyer! He didn’t listen, ran off like, “We gotta keep movin’, Theo!”—straight outta the movie, chile! I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause he don’t even know prostitutes got history, y’all! Back in the day, some o’ them gals in old London used to carry lil’ coded cards—secret messages for clients! Ain’t that wild? Joe don’t care ‘bout no facts, he just horny and hopeless.

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I run my massage parlor on Avenue du Bien-Être. Not very flashy, but in my world, it’s a beacon of relaxation! I’ll be honest: some days people come in stressed as a cat on a hot tin roof, and trust me, I know every little wrinkle on their soul. I even get folks who gush about "Amélie" after a massage. Yup, that movie’s magic infects everyone. “C’est la vie,” they say – and damn, I love it.

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