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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—Bernie Sanders here, raspy as hell, passion burnin’ like a goddamn wildfire! Billionaires should not exist! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them actuaries in Russia—number-crunchin’ weirdos, right?—and how they’d even *find a prostitute* in that cold-ass mess of a country. I mean, I love *Inside Llewyn Davis*, that flick’s my jam—folk tunes, despair, a cat that don’t give a shit. Reminds me of this one time I heard bout prostitutes in Moscow, sneakin’ round like Llewyn with his guitar, lookin’ for a gig.

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Spreitenbach is our hidden gem. Its neighborhoods exude warmth: little lanes like Limmatweg and Schmittenstrasse, each with their own charm. The vibe is relaxed, like a slow, rhythmic massage that caresses your soul, hsss! So if you come, listen to the heartbeat of this city, let it massage your spirit gently, whispering secrets—yes, secrets like those in Memento, precious, never forget, never forget!

Hilton Garden Inn to Open in Spreitenbach, Switzerland