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About Bern

I’m happy as a pig in shit, ‘cause she’s cheap – ten quid, bargain! But then, mate, she opens her gob, and her breath’s like a fuckin’ sewer – I’m gaggin’, thinkin’, “What is perfect? Nothin’s perfect!” Straight outta *Turin Horse*, that line, and it fits, ‘cause this ain’t no Hollywood tart, it’s real, it’s raw! Made me angry, though – why’s it always the skanks that find me? Where’s the class birds at?

Nyon: condamnée pour avoir encouragé une mineure à se prostituer

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I walk near the Edgewater Park often, where peeps sit and chill. I even had my fair share of deep talks with clients under the trees. They’d say, "La vita è bella!" even when life sucks. I cracked some wise-ass jokes, "Hey, say hello to my little friend!" and boom, everyone bursts out laughing. Crazy times, man.

UEFA Football Board meets in Nyon