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She’s laughin’, I’m blushin’—face redder than a smacked bum. “Ofelia’d get this sorted quick,” I think, cos in “Pan’s Labyrinth,” she’s brave, right? Me? I’m a flippin’ mess! So I ask, “How’s this work then?” She’s like, “20 quid, love, quick job.” I’m shocked—20 quid?! That’s me weekly jelly bean stash gone! Made me proper cross—greedy, innit? But then she winks, and I’m all flustered, happy again—daft sod, me. Did ya know, right, some prossies in Amsterdam got union rights? Swear down, read it somewhere—blows me mind, that does!

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Now, lemme tell ya, not everythin’ is rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes, I get cranky at the endless renovation noise around Tannenweg. I mean, seriously, can a guy get a break? And then there's that one time when the power went out in our parlor – oh boy, that night was like a scene straight outta that movie, all dark and full of hidden looks and awkward silences. D’oh!

Hubertus Schmidt's Goldberg to Be Junior Horse for German Pony Rider