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About Lucerne

Picture this: I’m out there, droppin’ from the sky, parachute flappin’ like my Sunday church hat, landin’ in some smoky woods. Halleluyer! I’m sweatin’, cussin’, tryna put out fires, when I see this gal—fishnets, heels, leanin’ on a pine tree like she waitin’ for a bus. I’m like, “Honey, you lost? This ain’t no red-light district!” She smirks, says, “I’m here for the smokejumpers—y’all sexy.” I hollered! Ain’t that a trip? A prostitute scoutin’ firefighters in the damn wilderness. Made me mad, tho—girl, we out here savin’ lives, not lookin’ for a quickie!

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Alright, buddy, lemme tell ya about Embrach (ch) – this quirky town that I call home. I run a massage parlor here, so I see all sorts of covert secrets. Ya know what, it's a weird mix of chill vibes and a whole lotta character. Streets like Bahnhofstrasse and Zürcherstrasse always got somethin’ weirdly familiar – kinda like a good massage: unexpected and oh-so relaxing.

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