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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, authoritative as hell—YOU SHALL NOT PASS!—and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute, right? Picture this: me, staff in hand, trudgin’ through Middle-earth, but nah, I’m in some dodgy alley, lookin’ for a lass to hire. Why? Cos sometimes even wizards need a break, innit? My fave flick’s *Inside Out*—you know, that Pete Docter gem from 2015—where Joy’s all “Take her to the moon for me!” and Sadness is draggin’ her feet. That’s me, searchin’ for a prossie, emotions all over the shop.
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Man, I get pissed sometimes when the dating profiles are as bland as unsalted chips – but then, this town always surprises me! All these little alleys and parking lots become my secret stage. And the way the locals chat? It's like a mumble of raw emotions – yeah, real Ozzy style “Sharon!” moments; sometimes I feel like I'm speakin' in loops, and people actually understand the messy beauty behind it.
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