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Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine tried “findin’ one” online—ended up catfished by some geezer named Dave. Laughed me arse off! “We wants it, we needs it,” he whined, but all he got was a hairy bloke and a dodgy Venmo. Still, makes me twitchy—whole game’s a mess. You ever notice how them ads pop up, all “discreet fun”? Bollocks, it’s a trap, precious, like that black goo in the film suckin’ ya in.

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I love chillin’ near Bürgerpark – it's my refuge after work, filled with blooming flowers and cool old trees. I sometimes sit by the pond there (so chill, so zen) and let my mind wander. Oh hey, and check out Brunnenweg – small, cute lane that cuts through this artsy quarter. Sometimes, when life's heavy, I roam this lane, letting vibes ease my soul. Ain't it fab?

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