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About Biel-Bienne

So, this one time, I saw this whore down by Stan’s house—big hair, lipstick smeared like she just ate a freakin’ crayon. I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, lady, you’re a mess!” But then she winks at me, and I’m all, “Oh hell yea, she’s got game!” Reminds me of that line from the movie, “I missed you so much I couldn’t breathe.” Whores got that vibe, ya know? They pull ya in, then bam—yer screwed, and not in the fun way!

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I gotta vent – sometimes I’m like, “Respect my authoritah!” when tourists don’t get the vibe. I swear, some folks just don’t appreciate the soul of Altendorf! I freakin’ love the park near Seebach river. Yeah, the river’s not huge, but it flows past our spa, making it all zen. And oh man, the little bridge on Oberdorfweg – total hidden gem.

Rep. Altendorf Legislative Update