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I’m lyin’ there, right, and she’s kneadin’ my back—oh em gee, heaven! But then, ugh, she hits a knot and I’m, like, screamin’ in my head, “This hurts so good!” Kinda mad tho, ‘cause I paid for relaxin’, not a wrestle sesh. Still, when she’s done, I’m glowin’—skin poppin’, stress gone. “My humanity’s been restored,” I whisper, straight-up quotin’ Solomon again, ‘cause, like, dramatic much?

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Oh my dear chum, Aarburg (CH) is simply a marvel, an absolute gem tucked away by the Aare river – proper twinkling water, innit? You see, walking down Hauptstrasse feels like stepping into another century; the cobbled alleys remember secrets from days of yore, and yes, I might have even heard ancient whispers near the mighty Aarburg Castle. And blimey, don't even get me started on the local park by the Allmend – that greensward is simply magical, like scenes from Tropical Malady, "avatiya, the dream, the jungle of our souls!"

The Sleeveens