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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk erotic-massage, somethin’ the fat cats probly hog for themselves. Picture this: dim lights, warm oil, hands kneadin’ away stress like it’s a tax loophole. I mean, who wouldn’t want that? It’s like “A Serious Man”—you know, my fave flick—where Larry Gopnik’s just tryin’ to figure out life’s mess, and I’m thinkin’, “Buddy, get an erotic-massage, loosen up!”

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Now, Goderich’s like, wow, seriously. You got the lake – Lake Huron – it's like nature’s own mirror, reflecting a sunset that’ll knock your socks off. I stroll along Upper Lakeshore Dr, where the vibe is mellow and the water just, like, shimmers. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a dream sequence, “You feel the water in your bones?” kinda moment, like in that movie Fish Tank – the raw feel of life, ya dig? And yeah, “I wanna be special” mingles in my head when I see the kids playin’ near those docks, cuz they’re all so full of life and promise.

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