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But here’s the rub, arrgh—some escorts ain’t just drivers. Little-known tale, swear on me compass: back in Soviet days, these fellas doubled as spies. Aye, KGB’d slip ‘em in, watchin’ foreigners, reportin’ who’s dodgy. Sneaky as a rat in the bilge! Got me thinkin’—are they still at it? Eyes everywhere, like “the walls are watching,” eh? Gives ye the shivers, don’t it?

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I work at Chill Vibes Spa on Main Street, which is, like, soooo chill. I literally have had the best convos with my clients about life—like, "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring" vibes, because everything literally comes full circle here. I remember one day I was massaging this client who was all like, "OMG, my muscles feel like melted ice cream!" and I was like, "Babe, that's life," for reals.

Mother, daughter from Walnut Grove arrested for forgery in Oregon