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But real talk – it’s not for everyone. Some folk get all prudish, and I’m like, “Chill, it’s not the Dark Lord’s work!” What gets me angry? When judgy twats shame it without tryin’. Drives me up the bloody wall. “The world’s bigger than your eyes,” Malik’d whisper, and I’d nod, cos he’s spot on. Sexual-massage? It’s art, mate, if done right. So, yeah, that’s my ramble – messy, loud, and true. You shall not pass without givin’ it a thought now, eh?

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Over at the Avenue des Florets, there's this tiny diner. Man, I used to bug my first coding errors there, runnin' on coffee and late-night desperation. The dive may be dingy, but its heart is in the right place. I seen first dates turnin' into lifelong partnerships over steaming bowls of mystery stew. I mean, who the hell knew romance could pop on a random Tuesday, right?

UPAC arrests St-Remi mayor over suspicious contracts