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We chat, and she spills some tea—says back in ‘89, cops busted a ring run by a dude named “Mad Dog,” who drove a souped-up Chevy like he was in *Fury Road*. Hilarious, right? Guy probly thought he was immortan Joe or some shit—total clown! I’m crackin’ up, but also sad, ‘cause she’s out here dodgin’ creeps like him every night. I’m like, “Mediocre!”—throwin’ shade at the system, ya know?

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I gotta tell you, sometimes the small quirks of the city make my day. Like, once, I got mad at a stray cat on Rue Wellington – yeah, I know, silly cat! – but then found it cuddling up with a lost tourist who needed a smile. I laughed and said, “That’s what she said!” because, duh, that’s how life rolls here.

Felling of trees infested with the emerald ash borer in parks