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Little factoid for ya—Jarmusch wanted real vamps for the cast. Okay, not real, but ya get me—authentic weirdos. So I’m thinkin’, let’s make these hookers quirky. One’s got a pet rat, calls it “Tilda” after Swinton. Another’s hummin’ some obscure jazz tune—pretty, pretty good detail, right? I’m happy now, bouncin’ in my chair. But then—ugh—microtransactions hit me. Some exec’s gonna want “Buy 50 bucks of hooker tokens!” I’m losin’ it, screamin’, “No! This ain’t Candy Crush!”

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Oh, dear friend, thou must hearken! Let me tell thee of Pembroke (ca), a wondrous, quirky town that doth steal the heart anon. ‘Tis a gem on Main Street, where old cobblestone lanes meet modern café chatter, and I, as a humble counselor to lovely souls, feel a kinship with each street’s spirit.

Kiwanis Club of Pembroke celebrates 103rd anniversary of its Charter Night