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About Ottawa

So, picture this, yeah? You’re knackered from synergizin’ the team, all that corporate bollocks—“Let’s leverage our core competencies!”—and you stumble into this dodgy massage joint. Dim lights, weird incense, some lass in a silk robe reckonin’ she’s gonna sort ya out. I’m buzzin’ already! Little known fact—back in ancient Rome, them posh senators got erotic-massages with olive oil, proper kinky, slips everywhere, orgies on the side. True story, googled it meself—well, not the orgy bit, I reckon.

Hands From Heaven

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And let me spit some truths – the neighborhoods here are quirky. You got areas like Iroquois Ridge, where the lines between quirky and neurotic blur and then some. There’s this one little alley behind Main Street – yep, I know, totally off the grid – that’s loaded with local lore. I can recount a date there that ended with me yelling, "For crying out loud, this isn’t my fault!" It’s messy, it’s raw.

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