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Oh, and don’t get me started on prices—$100 for 30 minutes? Robbery! I’m screamin’, “Screw you, ya greedy hippie!” But then—oh man—when it’s good, it’s worth every penny. Like *Inherent Vice*, it’s chaos, it’s weird, it’s perfect. “Dig it, man,” I say, leavin’ all relaxed, struttin’ like I own the damn world. Erotic-massage, bitches—try it, love it, thank me later! Respect my authoritah!

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