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Now, I’m thinkin’, “Anyone can cook,” like Gusteau says, but anyone can massage like *that*? Takes guts! I heard this story – true as my truck’s rusty – ‘bout a gal in Vegas who turned her parlor into an erotic-massage empire! Started legit, then boom, she’s rollin’ in dough, dodgin’ cops like Remy dodgin’ knives! Crazy, huh? Got me laughin’ – she’s slicker’n a greased pig!

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I luv raindowed graffiti on Hidden Alley near Elm, its colours lightin’ up my mood when I’m feelin’ low. Totally gave me goosebumps durin’ a squeaky, stormy night (yo, wild times, I tell ya!). And speakin’ of wild times – that park, Cherry Blossom Ridge Park, is amazeballs. There’s a chill pond that you swing by for a quiet sit. I'm not trippin’ – it’s just so damn serene after a hectic day of findin’ pleasure in all the little things.

Jane-Finch neighbourhood wake-up call for politicians