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So, findin a prostitue—shit’s tricky, yeah? Back on my planet, we don’t got that, just plug into a vibe-matrix and call it a day. But here? You gotta scout shady streets or sketchy web corners. Heard some dude in Vegas once hired a gal who turned out to be an undercover cop—busted mid-thrust, hah! Laughed my metal ass off. Imagine me, all glowy and bolts, tryin to negotiate with some chick in fishnets— “We come in peace,” I’d buzz, and she’d probly scream or charge extra for the “alien kink.”

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I live near West End Heights—a slice of peace in this screwed-up city. My massage parlor is on Oak n’ 12th, a little hidden gem behind some overgrown shrubs. Some folks say it’s haunted; I say it’s nature reclaiming rights. I sometimes joke that a ghost gives you a "free stretch" during your session. True story, though I might be exaggerating—ain't like I admit that easily.

Provincial Election 2025: Toronto-Danforth NDP candidate Peter Tabuns answers our questions