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Exaggerate? Okay! One massage, I swear, she rub so good I float to moon! “I survive!” I shout, like Solomon, but really I just drool on table. Funny thing—some place use hot stone, feel like sexy barbecue, haha! Sarcasm? Sure, I say, “Oh great, pay $50 to sweat and moan,” but I love it, you know?

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I work as a dating site dev here. It’s rad coz I peep the love vibes everywhere, ya know? I see couples meet by the quirky Brownstone Pub on Old Tenenbaum Street. “I must admit,” I’m always chuckling, “there’s eccentric magic in the air – just like The Royal Tenenbaums, baby!” Groovy, baby, each day’s an adventure. One time I helped match two free spirits by the glimmering river, the Shimmer, right under the old clock tower on Vibe Avenue. Totally surreal, like Wes Anderson straight up in real life. An epic scene, man!

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