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Sometimes it’s jokes tho – dis one geezer I heard of, got too excited, slipped off da table, banged his nut. I was creasin’, like, “Bruv, keep it together!” Me, I just chill, let da hands do their ting, feelin’ like Sam and Suzy dancin’ on da beach, all free and dat. “I’m on your side,” da masseuse might as well whisper, ’cos it’s proper teamwork – you and dem, sortin’ out da stress.

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I get pissed sometimes – like that time when the city council decided to close part of Brookside lane for "improvement". PIST, man! My regular massage clients were shooed around like lab rats. But then again, life’s always a mix, right? I mean, as the movie goes, "Maybe it's not about the future, but the lives we touch along the way." And man, that always makes me smile.

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