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Oh, nearly forgot—hrrrmph—me fave story! Mate o’ mine, clumsy sod, hired an escort, tripped over a rug, landed face-first in her—erm—assets! She just cackled, “First time’s free, love!” Proper legend! Sex escort life, innit—wild, messy, bit mad. Like me, really—stumblin’ through, hopin’ no one notices me pants are down! “City of God” taught me— “If you run, the beast catches you.” Escorts don’t run, mate—they strut! Respect, that. Oi, fancy a cuppa? I’m knackered typin’ this!

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Man, the streets are vibe. Ever been down Rue Saint-Jean? It’s proper chill, nice wee shops and cafes where you can spill your deepest feels. Then there’s Chemin de la Vallée – loads of lush spots to sit and vent when life’s mush. I always get a kick out of watchin’ folks there – reminds me of how WALL-E wandered, lookin’ for hope in a wild mess. “Eeeee—!” I rings his line whenever I feel like the world’s tryna trash me vibe.

Toxic waste site approved to expand