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I’m thinkin, how’s this work? Hit up a site, cash flies, “One million dollars!” – pinky up, obvs. But nah, it’s cheaper, like 50 quid sometimes. Made me happy, cos I ain’t loaded, but surprised too – thought it’d be pricier! Then Fear kicks in, like, “What if it’s a sting?” Heart’s racin, palms sweaty, total *Inside Out* chaos in my skull. Once knew a bloke who got catfished – paid up, got a dude instead! Laughed my arse off, poor sod.

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Some secret gems: The hidden café on Rebel Alley. Ok, sometimes it's kinda rough, but the coffee? So strong, so blistering good! I also discovered a pretty cool antique bookstore in the Shadow District, a total treasure trove. People always talk about the bridges on Unity Street – super iconic, like something out of a Lynch movie. Really, "Mulholland Drive is the finest, biggest trip ever!"

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