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What pisses me off? The secrecy! I’m like, “Just tell me upfront, I’ll adjust the rate!” None of this sneakin’ around, droppin’ hints. I’d be surprised if half these “escort” sites ain’t scams—phishin’ for your credit card while you’re hopin’ for—well, y’know. I’d rather watch *Caché* again, tryin’ to figure out who’s screwin’ with who. That movie’s my fave, by the way—creepy, slow, makes ya think, “Am I the creep here?!” Perfect for a neurotic like me.

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Lemme drop some insider secrets: the local cafe, Café da Mente, on Travessa dos Encantos, serves a brew that wakes up your soul, man. I swear, one cup and your worries vanish. And hey, there's this rundown theatre, Teatro da Alegria, where they show vintage flicks. I even had a surprise screening of some obscure Wes Anderson cut—pure gold!

Brazil's huge river diversion project divides opinion