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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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Then, there’s Avenida da Quimica. That street’s my therapy runway – people rush by like lost souls, all drama and miscommunication. I walk there to clear my head, think how every step is a story. That reminds me of a time I was mada—so many secrets spilled there. I yelled “This is life!” like Requiem but, y’know, not all the way.

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