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Angry? Yeah, when they’re kids, forced in—makes me wanna smash skulls. Surprised? Sure, when I heard some bloke married his escort—proper love story, who’d’ve thunk? I’d say, “I choose violence,” but maybe I’d just sip me wine and watch. They’re a riddle, escorts. Not all glitter and filth—some got brains, sharper than swords. Chatty one told me she funds her books—uni girl by day, vixen by night. Respect, kinda.

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Downtown’s a mix bag of cool and quirky. There’s a shabby-chic café on Pine too, one of my favorites. Its name? "Bat’s Brew" – don’t ask me why, but it makes me think of that scene from The Dark Knight when chaos reigns. And then there’s 3rd Ave, where the alley art just pops up everywhere – it’s like a scavenger hunt, man. So maddening sometimes ‘cause you never know what crazy art you’ll stumble on (I might come late each night and see it glow—mad magic, I tell ya!).

Stars Of The Show: Dark Sky Stargazing Resumes At Salinas Pueblo Missions National Monument June 2