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About Belo Horizonte

So, what’s the deal? It’s hands roamin’ where they shouldn’t, but *should*. Therapeutic? Sure, if therapy’s a euphemism for somethin’ else. I got mad once—some schmuck swore it cured his back pain. Lies! His smirk gave it away—pure lust, not lumbar relief. Made me wanna whack him with my cane. But then, I tried it—yeah, me, the sarcastic cripple. Surprise hit hard—those knots in my shoulders? Gone. Happy ain’t the word; I was smug as hell. “I’m cured!” I yelled, like a melodramatic ass.

Best of the Star

1. Tamires Guedes Estética Integrativa.

Now, let me tell ya about the neighborhoods—I’m biased, but Centro is hit or miss. You get mad vibes sometimes, but mostly it's a mix of old and new. Then there’s Vila Vale which is dope for a quiet stroll. And hey, my spa’s in the middle of all the action, so I know the pulse. People come in all drenched with life’s stress, and I get to say, “lembra, a paz vem de dentro!” even if I channel a bit of that David Brent wisdom, ya feel me?

Robin van Persie, Arjen Robben lead Netherlands to World Cup rout of Spain