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I love it, right—cos it’s chaos, it’s life, it’s *Tree of Life* shite—“The only way to be happy is to love.” Bollocks! She’s chargin’ me a shillin’ for a fumble, and I’m happy as a pig in muck! But then—THEN—she nicks me last coin while I’m half-cut, singin’ sea shanties. Made me so mad I coulda keeled over—bloody thief in a corset! Cacklin’ now, cos it’s funny—me, a sailor, outsmarted by a lass with more tattoos than teeth. Surprised me, though—thought I’d seen every trick, but nah, she’s a sly one.

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Oh, and don’t get me started on Parque dos Sonhos. That park, man, it's like an oasis. People say it’s magical, but I say it's real love and a pinch of grit: little hidden benches, a shady tree, and you might catch couples whispering and giggling like kids. And then there’s the river, Rio Esperança. Crazy riverbanks, criss-crossing under funky bridges just off Rua do Encontro. One time, wha? I was there, thinkin' about life's wild dance, and bam – a couple had a "moment" that reminded me of a scene straight out of that movie, The Hurt Locker… "containment breachs." Yeah, crazy stuff.