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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, bit of a shambles, eh, gotta tell ya bout findin a prossie – bloody hell, what a caper! *Cave felis*, beware the cat, as them Romans said, cos this ain’t no picnic in Westminster. Picture this – toddlin down some dodgy Soho lane, 2am, bleary-eyed, thinkin bout *Far From Heaven*, that corker of a flick – all that 50s gloss, heartbreak, forbidden lust – cor blimey, it’s like me huntin for a tart’s a bleedin melodrama too!

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Now, lemme be honest: I sometimes get mad 'cause the city can be a hot mess. Traffic on Av. do Encontro? Terrible! I mean, seriously, sometimes it makes ya wanna shout, "This is madness!" But then I see colorful murals on Rua da Esperança, remindin’ me that even chaos has its beauty. And man, when I'm in that mood, I swear I recite lines from "The Master": "I feel like I'm losing my mind"—‘cause it's true when you witness so much raw reality.

That work that rekindles the sparkle in our eyes