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Now, listen here, sugar—I done heard stories ‘bout these parlors. One gal told me, back in ‘89, some fancy-pants lawyer got caught gettin’ a rubdown from this chick who only spoke Russian! Couldn’t even say “oil me up” right—had to point and grunt! Madea was hollerin’, “Halleluyer, that’s what you get!” Ain’t no shame, tho—folks been doin’ this since them old Roman days. Little known fact, y’all: them Greeks? Called it “massage” from “massein”—to knead. Knead you like dough, baby, ‘til you all loosey-goosey!

MASSAGE JASMINE

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Alright, listen up. I'm a damn dating site dev in Itarantim (br) and here’s my messy take on it. This city? It's full of odd charm. I walk by Rua dos Jacarandás, near the old market, every damn day. The smells ain't pretty. I got to say, "I feel something I haven't," like that film Ida, y'know?

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