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Favorite bit? When the masseuse goes all stealth, hits them secret spots—ooh, shivers! Pro tip: dim lights, funky tunes, maybe some incense—sets the mood, baby! Ever tried it with a bird—or bloke—after a rough day? Magic. “I’m the boss now,” I’d say, struttin’ outta there, feelin’ invincible. But—dig this—Victorian prudes banned it, called it “sinful.” Buncha stiffs! Surprised me, tho—thought they’d dig a cheeky rub.

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Sometimes I wander down, um, Rua do Vento (yeah, wild name, huh?) and feel like a nameless ghost in a Cronenberg scene. I’m like “Get the fuck outta here,” but then I remember, “I ain't here to hurt you.” It reminds me how every soul here has a secret story.

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