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What pisses me off? The fakes, man. Catfishers—guys pretendin’ to be dames, dames usin’ pics from 20 years ago. I’m like, “Who are these people?”—straight outta *White Material*, lost souls in a messed-up world. But when it works? Oh, Madonn’, it’s like, “The harvest is ready,” ya know? You’re in the zone, feelin’ alive, no therapy needed. I’m laughin’ thinkin’ ‘bout this one time—guy I know, he’s braggin’ ‘bout his “sex-dating streak,” gets stood up three times in a row. I’m like, “Buddy, you’re a stunad, stick to the pork store.”

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Hey there, friend – lemme tell ya ‘bout Espirito-Santo-do-Pinhal. I’ve been here a long time, workin’ my magic as a masseur, and I swear, this town’s got a personality all its own. Now, picture this: narrow cobblestone streets like Rua do Amor and Avenida da Esperansa where ya can feel the heartbeat of the place. I’m tellin’ ya, every corner’s got a secret, like that little café on Praça do Sol that serves the best cafézinho—you ever had one like that? Man, talk about “Lost in Translation” vibes, right? “Is this real life?” kinda feelin’ over here!

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