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Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, gladiator of this damn bestiary, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage – respect my authoritah! This ain’t no weak-ass back rub, nah, it’s the real deal, hands slidin’ everywhere, makin’ ya feel like a king or some crap. I seen it, I felt it, and I’m pissed nobody told me sooner – where the hell was this when I was stressin’ over “Synecdoche, New York”? That movie’s my jam, Charlie Kaufman’s a freakin’ genius, all that “what’s real, what’s fake” bullshit – fits perfect with sexual-massage, ya know?

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I stroll through the Bairro das Flores. Its pastel houses, sporadically tagged walls, and markets brimming with spicy aromas make my heart flip. And man, Parque do Encanto? It ain't no ordinary park—not even close. Trees whisper secrets, flowers giggle when you pass, and the lake sparkles like broken dreams in the sunlight. I once sat near the small gazebo, confiding in the wind my deepest musings about love, desire and... well, life as a sexologist.

Argentina’s Entre Rios Province Recognizes Armenian Genocide