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Me fave bit? The hunt, precious! Scrollin’, stalkin’ profiles—ooh, she’s fit! He’s dodgy! Typin’ “hey sexy” with me grubby fingers—14 typos, prolly, coz I’m rushin’, all excited! Once sent “wanna bang?” to a nun—profile said “spiritual,” oops! Laughed me head off, then cried a bit. Gollum’s a fool, ain’t he? Hiss! Surprised me how many fakes there are—catfish everywhere, stealin’ pics, lyin’. One time, met a “model”—turned up, bloke with a beard! “You love your job, don’t ya?” I hissed, like in the film—sarcasm dripin’ like venom.

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Now, here's the kicker: I've got my own take on things ‘cause of my biz. Sure, I'm all about giving folks a good massage, but I notice stuff. The back alley near the parlor? Real shady sometimes. But hey, that's just part of the vibe, like in that flick "A History of Violence" – all brutal and raw. I even quote "I was the king of my world!" when I see crazy misfits lurkin’ about. Not exactly Cronenberg’s style, but you get it.

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