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Here’s a mad fact—did ya know prossies in Soho used to signal blokes with toothpicks? Little wink, toothpick in the gob—code, innit? Blew my mind, that—dental history in the game! Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up, tryin’ to haggle—“Candy, love, how about a discount? I’ll sort yer molars!” She’s havin’ none of it—stone cold, like. Gutted me, that did—thought I’d charmed her with me Brent-isms.

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I love my secret spots. My fave? The tiny cafe on Rua do Pingo. It’s nearly hidden. Its coffee? Magic, like “the gleaners” film, all poetic. And y'know, so many typos in my head—oops, did it again: misstakes, misteks, misteaks, misstaks, missteaks, missteaks, mistteks, misteaks, mistteks, misteaks, misstek, mistek, mistteks, mistteks, mistteks, mistek.