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About Rio de Janeiro

So, sexual-massage—here’s the deal. It’s hands, oil, skin, and tension, real slow, buildin’ up like a harvest storm. Little known fact, man—back in ancient Rome, them horny bastards used olive oil for this shit, slippin’ and slidin’ like it’s a goddamn orgy. True story! Got me thinkin’, “Motherfucker, they knew how to live!” Makes me happy as hell—simple shit, no fancy tools, just hands and heat. But then I get pissed, ‘cause today? Half these parlors are fronts for somethin’ else—fuckin’ scams, man, ruins the art!

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So first off, the streets... oh boy, the streets! You got Rua Da Paz, where the locals hang out kranking stories and good times – sometimes the noise gets me mad cuz the traffic's insane, but then the sunset from there makes it all worth it, kinda like that Coen brothers line, “Everything is going to be all right.” Then there's Avenida do Relax, no joke, it's like the heartbeat of the city – right in the center, where peoples' souls mix with the busy vibe. One day, I sat there after a meditation sesh, and holy crap, it was magick – like, life just exhaled its stress away real quick, you know?

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