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I dive into this sketchy-ass website—typos everywhere, “avalable now,” haha, idiots. Found this chick, “Candy,” real name prolly Susan or somethin’. Little known fact, dude—back in the ‘90s, prostitutes used pagers! Freakin’ pagers, man, like drug dealers! Anyway, I call her up, voice all shaky. She’s like, “50 bucks, half hour.” I’m thinkin’, “Sweet deal, yo!” Made me happy as hell—cheaper than my accountant pens!

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I’m always runnin’ around, kneading muscles and my own thoughts. Sometimes I get lost near the old bridge on Rua enigma, discoverin' secret murals and tiny murals on brick walls. Told ya, it's got surprises. I swear, every alley has a story. Even the seedy parts—like near Beco do Doidinho—come alive at night with neon buzz and, err, mystery and mischief.

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