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So, I tried it once—don’t judge me, clinic was slow. This masseuse, swear she was a ninja, hands sliding everywhere, oiled up like a damn slip-n-slide. Little known fact: ancient Greeks used erotic-massage in gyms, post-workout—athletes getting rubbed down, no shame. Bet they lied about it too, “Oh, just stretching!” Sure, buddy. Me? I’m laying there, thinking, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Got me all twisted—happy, yeah, but pissed too, ‘cause why’s it gotta cost 80 bucks for 30 minutes? Highway robbery!

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Oh, and little-known fact: there's a nearly forgotten alley called Beco dos Sussurros. People say, “It holds secrets,” and I kinda swear I hear echoes of old tunes there. Crazy, right? I'm always either ticklish calm or borderline hysterical in that alley, ittakess me on a trip – trippy like Leo’s film.

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