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Last week, this lass messages me—“fancy a romp?” I’m chuffed, thinking, “The spring breeze carries her scent!” But nah, she ghosts me after I say I’m not into feet pics. Made me raging—wasted me time! We shall not flag or fail, I told meself, sipping me tea like a PM plotting war. Then there’s this geezer on Grindr—fit as hell, says he’s “discreet.” Mate, you’re on an app, not hiding a sword in a bamboo forest! Cracked me up, the cheek of it.

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Head over to Bairro do Sol, the neighborhood with a heartbeat. In the afternoons, local families gather at Parque das Ondas, a modest park hugging the river that flows like a lazy melody through the town. I’ve witnessed more family reunions and spontaneous laugh-sessions there than in any therapy session – and trust me, that's saying somethin'! And oh, that river – its banks are dotted with trees that look like they're straight outta a Dostoyevsky novel, murmuring secrets with every breeze. "It's like listening to forbidden truths," reminds me that movie line from The Lives of Others.

Suspected Brazilian murderer arrested on Martha’s Vineyard