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Oh, and the drama—escort’s a freakin’ soap opera. Ever hear about the escort who crashed a royal party in Monaco? Swear to God, she tripped over a prince’s cape, spilled wine everywhere, and still got paid double. I’m over here like, “I can’t even crash a Zoom call without cryin’!” Total *Amélie* moment— “sometimes you gotta break eggs to live!” Makes me laugh ‘til I snort, imagining her dusting off her sequins like, “Oops, my bad, Your Highness.”

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First off, the main street, Avenida Principal, is like the heartbeat of the city. I mean, seriously, you walk there and it’s all lit with local cafes, tiny boutiques and even some pop-up art gigs. It’s kinda like that scene in "No Country for Old Men" where, like, tension meets history – so epic and, like, a bit edgy. One time I was at Café Tabuado, and the coffee was amaze and the vibes were, like, totally bohemian.

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