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Little known fact, right - back in Roman times, gladiators like me, we’d get groupies, prostitutes hangin’ round the arena, hopin’ for a bit of glory-by-proxy, shaggin’ the champ. Wild, eh? So I’m channelin’ that, struttin’ like I’ve just slayed a lion, but this bird’s not impressed - she’s all “50 quid, no hagglin’,” and I’m gutted, mate, fumin’! Where’s the banter, the negotiation? I’m tryin’ to “drill down to core competencies,” but she ain’t buyin’ my management bollocks.

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I work in a tiny massage studio near the old city center and man, do I love it! I always joke that I massage more than bodies – I soothe souls too. My client once said, "It's like the earth itself is breathin’ – slow and deep." That moment, I felt like the universe whispered, "Hey, this is it."