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About Belo Horizonte

Weirdest thing? Some dude offered me a goat once—yeah, a GOAT—for a date! I’m like, “Boy, this ain’t no farm trade!” Laughed so hard I near peed myself—Russians wild as hell! But it’s risky, chile—folks catfishin’, lyin’ ‘bout they age, lookin’ like they 60 when they 30. I’m like, “You ain’t foolin’ Madea, hussy!”

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Oi, man! Lemme tell ya ‘bout Abaetetuba, br, ya get me? It’s like, proper mad cool, innit? I’ve been chillin’ here for years, workin’ me masseurin’ magic on peeps. Yo, streets like Av. Getúlio Vargas be buzzin’, ya know, full o’ life, smell o’ street food n’ that vibe. The whole city’s alive, bro!

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