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But here’s the kicker: I’m surprised how normal it feels. Thought I’d be all high-and-mighty, but nah—she’s just a person, mate. Bit sad, bit funny, bit tough as nails. “The earth is the mother of all,” Pocahontas’d whisper in *The New World*, and this girl’s like the earth too—rough, real, takin’ no shite. I slip her some extra quid, tell her to dodge the creeps. She winks, “Cheers, posh boy,” and I’m off, martini callin’ my name. Findin’ a prostitute? It’s a bloody adventure—dodgy, daft, and damn human, shaken, not stirred!

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Simitli’s raw, real, messy – like me sometimes when I type with 11 typos rushin’ out a text. It ain't perfect, but it's ours. Has moments that surprise ya, infuriate you, and open your eyes. So, come visit, buddy – get lost in its alleys, soak up the vibe, and always remember: our stories matter, even if they come with a raspy, raw edge.

The 16th Mummers Festival begins in Simitli